Redwolf's Journal (continued)

Rrrgh. Where to start? Perhaps with "I shouldn't have stayed up so late last night finishing that book?" That makes sense. Though I really did need to distract myself with something. MUCKing wasn't working. MMOs weren't working. And while I wanted to just go to sleep early, that wasn't happening. I was given this nice, holiday weekend and I just haven't been able to enjoy it. Too many toxic thoughts killing my mood... A lot of it comes around to the usual "mid-life crisis" questioning of purpose stuff. That invariably comes up when I'm depressed. It's frustrating because I'm consciously content with my life. I'm mostly healthy. I'm more financially-stable than most people I know. I don't really have any desire for children (heck, I don't even like people a lot of the time). Yet part of me still clings to that subtle influence of upbringing that taught life is going to school, getting a job, getting married, and rai...

... can count for a lot, but business is business. Since news of 38 Studios' collapse, I've been hoping to see a broader perspective of the situation. Too many articles have been quick 'he said, she said' affairs, often focusing either on Curt Shilling or Governor Lincoln Chafee. Well, last night I found my way to a Boston Magazine article based on a broader selection of sources. To me, 'tis a very interesting read. Of course, it's hard to know what was really going through anyone's head along the way, but it paints a pretty sound picture of a company built up to make the next big MMO in the best way possible, yet lacking any idea how to actually pull that off. The goals and vision were admirable. The execution not so much. It's wonderful to treat employees as well as they did for a few years, but the attitudes behind that seem to have guaranteed that behavior would be unsustainable - and that doesn't serve anyone well, especially the newer hire...

I try to expose myself a little more to political news than I used to. Admittedly, some tidbits come filtered through comedy faux-news shows, but I have CNN on sometimes too. And one thing that's bugged me a lot recently is the utter inflexibility shown by both Republicans and Democrats of late. So, while driving back from Arizona, I turned to one of the few people in the world who I truly respect and trust to being able to look at US politics from a realtively objective standpoint and I said basically: Okay, I see all this, with both sides refusing to give ground even if it means grinding the government's ability to do anything to a standstill. This feels so extreme, but is that just perspective? Is this just a part of the cycle, or is it really worse than usual now? My father was silent for a few moments before giving a very careful and measured answer: It is as bad now as I have seen in my adult life. He went on to point out some periods where the two parties have be...