That One Person...

 A challenge to see if I can actually collect my thoughts on this into something coherent...

There is a person in my online RP circles since Furryfaire day who irritates me. I don't really dislike them, though I may have framed it that way once upon a time, but I do dislike being "around" them, and pretty much always have.

A long time ago, my introspective self considered why. The answer I came up with was not that they diametrically opposed to me or anything, but that in their behavior I saw my own impulses writ large. I could empathize with the desire to take control of situations, shape the setting, and be important. From the outside, though, I found that all struck me as extremely self-centered and I was, frankly, kind of disgusted by it.

This led to a period where I kind of beat up my own ego, working to convince myself to see less importance on scenes centered on my own characters in wider RP. Honestly, I sometimes wonder if I went too far, as I find it harder to speak/step up in RP and probably fade into the woodwork a bit too much. That's all debatable.

I've been told this person has changed, but in more recent games, I really don't see it. They still swoop in with grand plans, heedless of anyone else, looking for affirmation in every action. And all of it hits like a mirrored version of me that has no filter and isn't quashing those little self-aggrandizing voices at every turn.

That is why and how they irritate me. It's a hard thing to just "let go" of because it isn't all external. I can't exactly blame them - even if it may be behavior I dislike, they are probably totally oblivious to any reaction to it. And yet, it's definitely a negative to any game in which I have to deal with it.