RPG Rambling

 Being entirely too critical about the state of some current games...

After a long-running, system-spanning, started-in-person-and-went-online D&D campaign ended, one group reshuffled a little and started a new campaign set earlier in the history of that world. The DM wanted to use a... certain style. Hmm, I forget the term now. It would be a bit wilderness focused, leaning a bit more heavily on random encounters during travel and resource tracking than a heavy narrative. That was not highly appealing to me, but I was willing to try it.

Out the gate, we had a few hiccups.

The character background I had in mind was largely tossed aside to fit in with another character. That's not a huge deal to me, but it did throw me off a bit.

The game style isn't seeming as satisfying as hoped. For my end, I think I prefer a little more narrative continuity than randomness. The "encounter" for one early day in travel was finding a flute in the road. With an idea what we were in for, most of the party is well-suited with survival skills, backgrounds, and such which largely trivialized the early travel resources - and I think the DM was disappointed with how easy that facet was for us. Immediately nerfing those things, however, wouldn't feel fair and we did start is reasonably forgiving terrain.

Also, one of the players is... a bit much. This is not a new thing, by any means. His enthusiasm can be useful to ride, but it's also overwhelming when even the DM has trouble getting a word in edgewise at times and he casually throws out anachronistic details without any discussion or approval. I think the online voice chat format probably makes this worse than it would be in person (or text).

That has all made it very difficult to be invested in. And now I've missed a couple sessions (which only happen every two weeks or so) due to depression once and general tiredness with an early appointment the following day the other time, I'm seriously considering just bowing out completely.

That difficulty getting invested is a common theme and I know full well my own apathetic-leaning psyche is a major factor in that. What I'm less sure of is what to do about it.

There's also the ongoing Starfinder game that I'm struggling with.

Starfinder rules in the fuuuuture of Kit's worlds wasn't the easiest to get grounded in. I mean, the setting is already different from the game default and not all clearly defined form the outset, but it's enough to make a character and go with this.

And I'm reasonably happy with my character at a base. Kalithrax isn't a mover-and-shaker, but I like to think the big draconian has a reasonable presence and the psuedo-Russian accent adds some flavor to the character as he kind of protectively hovers around the kobolds in the crew. That seemed/seems like it should be enough.

Buuuut, I don't know. In the rare combat, he's not really remarkable for the marine of the crew - usually stuck inactive for a turn or two due to failing a Will save on something. Other characters with other specialties do the same or more. And one fight ended in an explosion he only survived due to a house rule - one which honestly neuters the threat of dying about as well as the death and return of Superman did in comics.

So... not outstanding in combat, which isn't that common. Not remotely vying for common crew/party niches (pilot, engineer, magic-person, or what have you). My character doesn't make me feel particularly necessary to any goings on.

Then there's the glut of other characters. I'm still unclear, but think a few people are playing multiple characters? And we pick up NPCs, having them saved, randomly showing up, or acquired as a PCs apparent harem. There are a couple characters on scene that I literally do not know where they came from. It just feels like there's so much going on among so many other characters, that there's not much point. The only thing that seems like it would be missing with my absence would be the occasional quip.

The RP that has happened between sessions tends to leave me feeling behind, making it harder to hit the ground running when it comes time - which is usually around the time I'm finishing up making or eating dinner, so I don't exactly get much time right before the game to get caught up or anything. Theoretically, all that is in the scroll-back in Discord. I could get better caught up between sessions. But... that is not the level of involvement I was given to expect starting out and I thus far seem unwilling to commit that much.

The same mood, malaise, and feeling of being lost has meant I've basically missed the last couple sessions of this game too, which digs the hole deeper.

I've said before and I still believe: a lot of the time you get out of a game what you put in. I certainly could put more time, effort, and attention into these games, but don't really have the drive to do so. That part's certainly on me, but I'm not quite sure how to tackle it. I don't seem to want to be more involved enough to do so.