Drifting
Depression: Well, after a little exchange with my doctor, we're trying an increased dosage. So far, no truly dark days or breakdowns and I can pull myself back from negative thoughts a bit easier. I worry, though, that it may also be keeping me a little... hmm... "floaty" comes to mind - less able to focus/commit to doing a thing. That's hard to quantify and confirm, though. Hmm...
Reading: I have a few books on my "to read" list, though I find myself reluctant to start in on them.
I received The Dragons of Babel along with The Iron Dragon's Daughter, but after reading the latter I'm not sure I want to read the former. Certainly, if it's the same level of aimlessness and depressive squandering of a character and setting, I'm not up to that right now.
The latest (final?) book of the Lightbringer series has been available for a while, but I've been hesitant to pick it up. I've generally enjoyed the series and characters, but as it has gone on, it has introduced new things and shifted focus in a way that make me think the ending may not be so satisfying. It's a (very low-level) dread similar to what I felt when Mass Effect 3 started out presenting a McGuffin that was supposed ot save the galaxy somehow.
I've also held off on starting the Stormlight Archive books because I don't want to get into something new that I think I will like only to have to wait years for it to continue. I'm still waiting on Rothfuss' third Kingkiller book (which has enough stuff to wrap up that I'm doubtful) and the next Dresden Files book (which been 5 years coming so far after an almost-yearly release schedule for the series).
Games: I've been playing Control on PS4 and generally enjoying the atmosphere. The gameplay is pretty good, though I've run into some brick walls with certain encounters and I haven't had very solid momemtum through the game, so it's taking a while.
My play of Battletech has tapered off some too. I really enjoyed what the 3062 Advanced mod added, but load times are getting a bit ridiculous and I've been at it for a while.
I mistakenly thought Subnautica: Below Zero was to be out about now, but that's just me misreading the early access date a year ago as a final release date. Oops. Shame, as I'm looking forward to that.
I haven't seen much else that has grabbed me on the near-term release radar.
Roleplaying: Online's definitely in a lull for me. There are a lot of factors in that, and I think about it often. Fixing it, though, is beyond me.
Starting off the year feeling like emotional crap and with a plot-GM who was ill are a couple major factors. And when one is out of scenes for a time, it's hard to catch up. I've tried to at least pose-in to the major plot-related scenes to maintain some presence, but that's not really enough.
We also have some clashes within the player base that are problematic. I've had plenty of time to observe and consider, but solutions are still elusive at best.
We have some players who, when playing, are very much there. They are in the moment and respond quickly to anything in the scene. Then we have some players who take much longer because they are composing more lengthy poses and/or are in the middle of WoW raiding of something else at the same time.
We have players who are active all throughout the day, posing in Discord at any and all hours. We have players who have, perhaps, a window of a couple hours a night to maintain a presence.
Some people are playing their characters as low-magic warriors and rogues. Others are spawning legendarily-rare materials out of thin air and creating cross-dimensional portals with a few moments' effort.
We have players who look at the mechanical rules behind their characters with strict plans and combinations in mind while we have those who barely give sheets a second though.
We have players who see in-character obstacles as something to overcome via any and all things at their disposal - success above all! We have players who actually create obstacles for their characters in order to generate experiences - failure can be just as fun and interesting!
There are so many wildly different opinions and desires of what the roleplaying experience should be that I worry. A lot. Perhaps too much. I want to see everyone happy, but I don't realistically see any way for that to happen. Already, I've been disappointed more than ones on the train and Blackpool plotlines.
It might help if players were better at cross-communicating with one another and making the effort to understand those with different views. That seems to be difficult, though, and there may not be a common ground to find.
Feh. I try not to think/worry about it, but that's hard too.
Reading: I have a few books on my "to read" list, though I find myself reluctant to start in on them.
I received The Dragons of Babel along with The Iron Dragon's Daughter, but after reading the latter I'm not sure I want to read the former. Certainly, if it's the same level of aimlessness and depressive squandering of a character and setting, I'm not up to that right now.
The latest (final?) book of the Lightbringer series has been available for a while, but I've been hesitant to pick it up. I've generally enjoyed the series and characters, but as it has gone on, it has introduced new things and shifted focus in a way that make me think the ending may not be so satisfying. It's a (very low-level) dread similar to what I felt when Mass Effect 3 started out presenting a McGuffin that was supposed ot save the galaxy somehow.
I've also held off on starting the Stormlight Archive books because I don't want to get into something new that I think I will like only to have to wait years for it to continue. I'm still waiting on Rothfuss' third Kingkiller book (which has enough stuff to wrap up that I'm doubtful) and the next Dresden Files book (which been 5 years coming so far after an almost-yearly release schedule for the series).
Games: I've been playing Control on PS4 and generally enjoying the atmosphere. The gameplay is pretty good, though I've run into some brick walls with certain encounters and I haven't had very solid momemtum through the game, so it's taking a while.
My play of Battletech has tapered off some too. I really enjoyed what the 3062 Advanced mod added, but load times are getting a bit ridiculous and I've been at it for a while.
I mistakenly thought Subnautica: Below Zero was to be out about now, but that's just me misreading the early access date a year ago as a final release date. Oops. Shame, as I'm looking forward to that.
I haven't seen much else that has grabbed me on the near-term release radar.
Roleplaying: Online's definitely in a lull for me. There are a lot of factors in that, and I think about it often. Fixing it, though, is beyond me.
Starting off the year feeling like emotional crap and with a plot-GM who was ill are a couple major factors. And when one is out of scenes for a time, it's hard to catch up. I've tried to at least pose-in to the major plot-related scenes to maintain some presence, but that's not really enough.
We also have some clashes within the player base that are problematic. I've had plenty of time to observe and consider, but solutions are still elusive at best.
We have some players who, when playing, are very much there. They are in the moment and respond quickly to anything in the scene. Then we have some players who take much longer because they are composing more lengthy poses and/or are in the middle of WoW raiding of something else at the same time.
We have players who are active all throughout the day, posing in Discord at any and all hours. We have players who have, perhaps, a window of a couple hours a night to maintain a presence.
Some people are playing their characters as low-magic warriors and rogues. Others are spawning legendarily-rare materials out of thin air and creating cross-dimensional portals with a few moments' effort.
We have players who look at the mechanical rules behind their characters with strict plans and combinations in mind while we have those who barely give sheets a second though.
We have players who see in-character obstacles as something to overcome via any and all things at their disposal - success above all! We have players who actually create obstacles for their characters in order to generate experiences - failure can be just as fun and interesting!
There are so many wildly different opinions and desires of what the roleplaying experience should be that I worry. A lot. Perhaps too much. I want to see everyone happy, but I don't realistically see any way for that to happen. Already, I've been disappointed more than ones on the train and Blackpool plotlines.
It might help if players were better at cross-communicating with one another and making the effort to understand those with different views. That seems to be difficult, though, and there may not be a common ground to find.
Feh. I try not to think/worry about it, but that's hard too.
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