So Tired
I'm tired.
Not in a "I should get another couple hours a sleep a night" sense, though that may well be a good idea. Rather, experiences that are positive or invigorating to me have been... rare, this last week.
Dwelling on the past left me moody over the weekend. A couple nights ago, someone blew up on the MUCK over "lies" and miscommunication, the whole situation there still leaving a bad taste in my mouth. I'm having continuing trouble connecting with one of my longest-standing friends online just because of this sense of sameness - that everything's been said and done - and because, more and more, I feel like his interests and preferences diverge from my own. The WoW daily grind and my inability to find a comfortable niche in GW2 don't help. And that's the "fun" part of my life.
Work... hasn't been as bad as it could be. I've only really been in full crisis mode one afternoon. But I also feel the impending awkwardness and probable change of a new boss that starts in about a week. I'm also buried under a backlog of decommissioned hardward that hasn't been properly dealt with. I lost a couple hours yesterday to training meetings (for things I won't directly use, but need some idea of - which is the case of almost every bit of software in this place) that almost put me to sleep.
I am sorely, sorely tempted to cancel (at least my part in) roleplaying tomorrow night. I keep arguing myself out of that decision, reminding myself that while I'll be weary I will probably enjoy the interaction and might actually be better for it, and that Friday nights online are frequently depressing anyway.
Not in a "I should get another couple hours a sleep a night" sense, though that may well be a good idea. Rather, experiences that are positive or invigorating to me have been... rare, this last week.
Dwelling on the past left me moody over the weekend. A couple nights ago, someone blew up on the MUCK over "lies" and miscommunication, the whole situation there still leaving a bad taste in my mouth. I'm having continuing trouble connecting with one of my longest-standing friends online just because of this sense of sameness - that everything's been said and done - and because, more and more, I feel like his interests and preferences diverge from my own. The WoW daily grind and my inability to find a comfortable niche in GW2 don't help. And that's the "fun" part of my life.
Work... hasn't been as bad as it could be. I've only really been in full crisis mode one afternoon. But I also feel the impending awkwardness and probable change of a new boss that starts in about a week. I'm also buried under a backlog of decommissioned hardward that hasn't been properly dealt with. I lost a couple hours yesterday to training meetings (for things I won't directly use, but need some idea of - which is the case of almost every bit of software in this place) that almost put me to sleep.
I am sorely, sorely tempted to cancel (at least my part in) roleplaying tomorrow night. I keep arguing myself out of that decision, reminding myself that while I'll be weary I will probably enjoy the interaction and might actually be better for it, and that Friday nights online are frequently depressing anyway.
My memory might be shoddy, I hope I wasn't the one who blew up. I'm sorry to hear your Fridays are kind of depressing online - I can try to take extra effort to improve on them when we're together. Sorry to hear GW2 isn't as fun for you as it could be. : It would be nice to hang out with you there from time to time, I'd actually considered asking if you'd want to play tonight, but I wasn't feeling much up to anything.
ReplyDeleteOh, if you'd been a part of that bit of drama, you would have known it. No, that was over in the group I've got Jezra with. The ball is once again rolling there, but the whole experience still casts a shadow over things for me.
ReplyDelete