"At least you have your health"

... or so the saying goes. I'm not so sure at this point. My appetite has declined sharply the last few weeks. Through last night and today, my stomach has felt as though tied in knots. Frankly, I'm surprised my rage-fueled hike last night didn't do more damage than the few little scratches I picked up. But I'm not so worried about myself physically.

Rather I find that my mind is a jumble - so much going on I can't focus at all. I was very distracted and short-tempered at work today (and @whee, I'm on call 'til Monday). I can't really focus on roleplaying online (which makes it just as well Tryssa has an excuse to be zoned out). I'm not finding enjoyment in... well... anything.

And more than that, I feel like something within my being broke yesterday. You read about that in novels - something traumatic (good or bad) snaps within the character. Like that. I don't know what it was. Innocence? Surely that's already been seered away after close to thirty years of life. I'm not suddenly suicidal or homocidal, so that's not a worry. Yet there's the constant, nagging sense of having lost something... something intangible, yet important. I wish I really understood enough to explain...

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