And So It Begins...

- Kosh

Sorting some thoughts here on the current Stars Without Numbers game I've been in for a few weeks now...

I hope I'm wrong, longer term, but I'm seeing early sign that usually lead to me stepping away from a Discord game. When I start to feel overwhelmed and left behind, that's typically a solid first hint.

Looking in from time to time and seeing pages of stuff happening outside of official game time, whether it's moving plot or "side" roleplay between characters, has always made me feel out of sync or behind in things. It's become what might be my number one pet peeve in the gaming medium and, contrary to what some may thing, Discord has actually made it worse for me compared to a MUCK, where I wouldn't even see such activity. Knowing what I've missed rather than just missing something generates more of an emotional response. This is all one thing I try to have clear expectations of starting a new game and if I know outright that things will happen while I am not there to be involved, I'll probably sit out from the beginning.

But... I realize not everyone shares my schedule or conclusory opinions (and maybe not even my gut reaction, though I suspect that may be fairly universal to some degree). I know there are players who hang out on Discord all day every day and are eager to play their characters. Because of that, I try to temper my reactions, not take it serious, participate when I can, and just... let it go. Playing the "hey, can we stick to official game time" card just rankles others and causes friction. It also usually doesn't lead to anything that lasts.

Emotional reactions aren't something that can be outright prevented, though, so it's likely to keep occurring, slowly eating away at my own enjoyment and sense of being involved. Peeking this morning before work to see new chatter on half a dozen different channels (some that appear to involve the same character in different places "simultaneously") certainly generated a reaction in me. It's not enough to make me want to throw my hands up and give up, but it's enough my overactive brain sees a probable trajectory to that point. Not a great feeling.

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