*sigh*

What to say? It's been a rough several days in my head, bordering on miserable. "Depression sucks?" Yeah, that's appropriate enough, I suppose. I recognize it, at least. I don't have any reliable way to shake myself out of it, but it will pass at some point.
I can probably blame the beginning on work. I don't really like to go into specifics of work here these days, but... Last week sort of rubbed in my face elements of the situation around my workplace that degraded my moral. The situation is not new, but I can usually get by without really thinking about it, but that wasn't the case this time, leading to multiple coworker discussions about it and far more mental time than it usually gets. It's a sort of ongoing, low-level frustration (as opposed to an anger-inducing immediate frustration) that makes everything just a little harder day in and out. Last week just brought it to the fore.
And once something gets a foothold, depression (or at least my variant of it) can start turning any other little thing into another weight.
The weather probably hasn't helped, with a lot of cloud cover and a fair bit of snow the last several days. Little thoughts and comments here and there can dig into my psyche like burrs, leaving me mentally beating myself up.
Getting into the late game of Red Dead Redemption 2 may also have been a contributor over the weekend. Mind you, the game is great in many, many ways. The narrative, though, is not particularly a happy one and the closing parts of the main story have a definite fatalistic feel to them. That's something I'll go into more detail when I discuss the game itself, but the timing was unfortunate for me. I even tried to push through it, but the chapter turned out to be much longer than I was expecting. Go figure.
So... yeah...
A lot of that is vague, but it boils down to being in a very unhappy head space with a sort of impulse to want to curl up into a ball and give into an almost omnipresent urge to cry. It'll pass, but until then it's... truly wearying.