Another Year...
... another closely-monitored mood.
My birthday yesterday felt pretty much "normal" for such, and looking back at journal entries for the last several years, that seems about right:
- Start the day (after midnight) with some unpleasantness, be it drama between friends online or money woes of a friend or friend-of-friend (the latter in this case)
- Go to bed in a slightly below-average mood
- Wake up and get a few remote well-wishes for the day via email, but don't receive any such directly
- Go to work, if applicable
- Try to do something ever so slightly special, but by no means fancy for dinner/dessert
- Have a friend or two take some interest in the evening in trying to wish me a happy birthday, which is the only thing that actually saves the day from being totally below average
- Lament that this overall left the day feeling like... pretty much any other day
Oh, I can't say it's not my own fault for maintaining a small circle of friends, several of which are remote. I may not even want a party, were it viable. Yet there is a desire there for a day that manages to actually make the day feel special somehow.
And so, I find myself now in a state of mild melancholy - the sort of thing that has me closely monitoring for a spiral downward into depression that I hope to avoid.
My birthday yesterday felt pretty much "normal" for such, and looking back at journal entries for the last several years, that seems about right:
- Start the day (after midnight) with some unpleasantness, be it drama between friends online or money woes of a friend or friend-of-friend (the latter in this case)
- Go to bed in a slightly below-average mood
- Wake up and get a few remote well-wishes for the day via email, but don't receive any such directly
- Go to work, if applicable
- Try to do something ever so slightly special, but by no means fancy for dinner/dessert
- Have a friend or two take some interest in the evening in trying to wish me a happy birthday, which is the only thing that actually saves the day from being totally below average
- Lament that this overall left the day feeling like... pretty much any other day
Oh, I can't say it's not my own fault for maintaining a small circle of friends, several of which are remote. I may not even want a party, were it viable. Yet there is a desire there for a day that manages to actually make the day feel special somehow.
And so, I find myself now in a state of mild melancholy - the sort of thing that has me closely monitoring for a spiral downward into depression that I hope to avoid.
Comments
Post a Comment