Fractured...

I think I broke myself. Just a little.

I'll often feel just a little bit down after finishing a book, leaving a story and characters behind. The latest of my reading hit me for slightly different reasons too. Mindtouch seems to have been written by a "furry" author who used to post snippets of an ongoing story on Livejournal that I would see occasionally through the friend page of a friend. I never really got into that, and I didn't really look for anything about this book directly. Heck, if anything, I tend to veer away from slice-of-life type stories because my own life is plenty mundane without filling my entertainment time with people just going to work and school and such. But through some happenstance, I found the book and it seemed just interesting enough to pick up.

'tis the story of two esper xenopsychology students in an advanced, multi-racial society. Vasih'th is of a genetically engineered species (though I can't imagine why anyone would design what is effectively a skunktaur with wings that aren't practical) known for some degree of esper talents and minimal passions. He's native to the big ol' future society, and is friendly and readily caring of others. Jahir is from a more primitive (sounding closer to feudal in many ways) isolationist race of tall, pale, and very long-lived people. His psychic talents are arguably stronger, but seen more as a vulnerability as his people train to avoid contact and keep close. So naturally, there's a lot of Vasih'th showing the ropes and Jahir learning to open up to some degree.

It's also a love story. What makes it unusual to my eye has less to do with the races, or the genders, but the fact that it's a platonic love between the two. Vasih'th's people have little to no sex drive and Jahir never really talks/thinks about it much, even though they each sort of expect to have children in some fashion some day. So seeing that connection between them without elements of sexuality is... well, bizarre compared to 99% or more of the media I take in.

And I'm glad to have read it for that uniqueness alone. In critique, I might say the psychology seemed a little over-simplified for a xenopsychology school, but hey. The story overall feels very... "sweet" perhaps.

Though there's a bit of bitterness in the experience too, as I got introspective and though about elements of the two main characters I most deeply sympathize with. Jahir, at least to start, is very rational about how fleeting relationships would be with shorter-lived races and thus kind of stand-offish. Meanwhile, Vasih'th's muted passions and aimlessness of purpose through his coursework strike a very familiar chord. And as I considered that, it congealed in my mind that here's this story of two people who compliment one another into a greater whole, and I feel like I'm manifest of the worst/weakest traits of them both. That's a somber, almost painful, thought that seems to have unsettled me on some level.

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