MMOs
Well, feeling some better today, at least.
I don't regularly read WoW blogs anymore. But today, I happened to glance at one that's a story-framed retelling of part of the Siege of Orgrimmar raid. It strikes a chord, reminding me of past experiences and the depth of investment in the game over year. I liked the Klaxxi paragons. I knew fighting them would be inevitable. Leaving the game before that happened... feels at once merciful and saddening. There are some good stories there, and knowing how they play out is not the same as experiencing them.
As much as I miss those stories and as much as I put a lot more solo than group time into the game, it just wasn't the same having the guild dwindle to only a couple other active players. I wonder about that a bit. I don't think it was just raid access, though that's part of it. The social structure has value too. I miss being able to log into an MMO and being at ease with everyone on guild channel - familiar with them and feeling sort of like a family (even if disfunctional once in a while). I cared about my WoW guildmates. I... am not so sure I would go so far as to say I knew them all in depth, but I had a good general feel for most of them. So even when I was playing solo, I had it in mind that I was improving my character partly for myself and partly for the benefit of the guild. That hasn't been replaced.
The Scions of Arion guild in GW (1) never had that for me. I could barely keep track of two or three regulars who felt to me, at best, like friends-of-a-friend whose humor and behaviors never clicked with me. I always felt out of step somehow. And in GW2, more or less the same thing happened. The guild started off with a few more people who I would consider online friends, but that didn't last long. Differing interests pulled them into spending more time in other, larger guilds, while others just weren't in-game very often. After a few months, there really wasn't much of any community there to my perception, much less one that felt like family to me.
Avalon's Wraiths is something of a different issue. It's a larger guild (to the point of flirting with the membership cap constantly) that I joined at the suggestion of a couple friends. And there are three or four people there I do consider online friends (who also hold membership in Scions, but almost never actively rep it), which is the largest concentration in GW2 for me. So that's a plus. But there's also dozens or hundreds of other people online at any given time that I don't know so well. I'm gaining a certain familiarity with some of them (the overly-stressing leader, the overachiever(s), the regular commentors...), but I feel like a pretty small cog in a big machine. I've made a deliberate effort to be helpful in weekly guild missions, but I don't think that has really distinguished me in any way.
None of it feels like home. In fairness, it probably took a lot of time as well as favorable circumstances for me to feel that way in WoW, but I just don't see it happening elsewhere. And as much as I miss some of the lore and stories of WoW, I think I miss the guild more.
I don't regularly read WoW blogs anymore. But today, I happened to glance at one that's a story-framed retelling of part of the Siege of Orgrimmar raid. It strikes a chord, reminding me of past experiences and the depth of investment in the game over year. I liked the Klaxxi paragons. I knew fighting them would be inevitable. Leaving the game before that happened... feels at once merciful and saddening. There are some good stories there, and knowing how they play out is not the same as experiencing them.
As much as I miss those stories and as much as I put a lot more solo than group time into the game, it just wasn't the same having the guild dwindle to only a couple other active players. I wonder about that a bit. I don't think it was just raid access, though that's part of it. The social structure has value too. I miss being able to log into an MMO and being at ease with everyone on guild channel - familiar with them and feeling sort of like a family (even if disfunctional once in a while). I cared about my WoW guildmates. I... am not so sure I would go so far as to say I knew them all in depth, but I had a good general feel for most of them. So even when I was playing solo, I had it in mind that I was improving my character partly for myself and partly for the benefit of the guild. That hasn't been replaced.
The Scions of Arion guild in GW (1) never had that for me. I could barely keep track of two or three regulars who felt to me, at best, like friends-of-a-friend whose humor and behaviors never clicked with me. I always felt out of step somehow. And in GW2, more or less the same thing happened. The guild started off with a few more people who I would consider online friends, but that didn't last long. Differing interests pulled them into spending more time in other, larger guilds, while others just weren't in-game very often. After a few months, there really wasn't much of any community there to my perception, much less one that felt like family to me.
Avalon's Wraiths is something of a different issue. It's a larger guild (to the point of flirting with the membership cap constantly) that I joined at the suggestion of a couple friends. And there are three or four people there I do consider online friends (who also hold membership in Scions, but almost never actively rep it), which is the largest concentration in GW2 for me. So that's a plus. But there's also dozens or hundreds of other people online at any given time that I don't know so well. I'm gaining a certain familiarity with some of them (the overly-stressing leader, the overachiever(s), the regular commentors...), but I feel like a pretty small cog in a big machine. I've made a deliberate effort to be helpful in weekly guild missions, but I don't think that has really distinguished me in any way.
None of it feels like home. In fairness, it probably took a lot of time as well as favorable circumstances for me to feel that way in WoW, but I just don't see it happening elsewhere. And as much as I miss some of the lore and stories of WoW, I think I miss the guild more.
I miss the guild too.
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