I Sorta Hate...
... the feeling that I've wasted my time. And I just came off a four-day weekend (because I keep running up toward my vacation time limit) without any real feeling of accomplishment. I guess I did manage to get out and get an oil change. But I didn't even really sink time into any particular video game, read a book, or RP any real major scenes online. Basically, I feel like I had extra time and was totally unproductive with it, and that upsets me on some level.
Rambling engaged...
I did watch a movie over the weekend, but even that left me feeling somewhat disappointed afterward - increasingly so the more I thought about it.
I spent a lot of time thinking about RPG systems and the potential campaign idea in my mind. On that front, I came to the conclusion that no system I've seen is good for what I want. Pathfinder/d20 is... eh... about as good as anything, but it's still a clunky fit and would require me to draft up a detail-laden template and to artificially limit non-templated entities to probably about 3rd level.
But even then, the level limits don't really model the power differential in quite the way I want. And I keep running into the same old meta-game issues with attaching a drawback to a power. There's a fine line between compelling character behavior and taking away player agency, or making something that's a revelation to characters without feeling like a pit fall to players. Making a character power source that is so finely tuned as to be a decision each time may be impossible without greater understanding of individual player psyche than I have.
Ugh. I actually got so burned out on even thinking about that game that doing so was giving me a headache by Monday. This is generally about where I throw up my hands and say "fuck it, this isn't worth it." I've felt burned often enough as a GM that I just don't have the confidence and drive to really take chances with a campaign. And if I give up my core ideas that are making everything so hard, I'm left with 'maybe a steampunk-ish d20 game' which doesn't motivate me at all by itself. Without some idea of a story, I don't even remotely care enough about a game to run it.
I suppose I have similar issues when it comes to the MUCK.
Wrrf. So back to work for a few days. It's almost a welcome return. Then a three day weekend! Somehow, I find I'm not exactly thrilled about that at the moment. Feh.
Rambling engaged...
I did watch a movie over the weekend, but even that left me feeling somewhat disappointed afterward - increasingly so the more I thought about it.
I spent a lot of time thinking about RPG systems and the potential campaign idea in my mind. On that front, I came to the conclusion that no system I've seen is good for what I want. Pathfinder/d20 is... eh... about as good as anything, but it's still a clunky fit and would require me to draft up a detail-laden template and to artificially limit non-templated entities to probably about 3rd level.
But even then, the level limits don't really model the power differential in quite the way I want. And I keep running into the same old meta-game issues with attaching a drawback to a power. There's a fine line between compelling character behavior and taking away player agency, or making something that's a revelation to characters without feeling like a pit fall to players. Making a character power source that is so finely tuned as to be a decision each time may be impossible without greater understanding of individual player psyche than I have.
Ugh. I actually got so burned out on even thinking about that game that doing so was giving me a headache by Monday. This is generally about where I throw up my hands and say "fuck it, this isn't worth it." I've felt burned often enough as a GM that I just don't have the confidence and drive to really take chances with a campaign. And if I give up my core ideas that are making everything so hard, I'm left with 'maybe a steampunk-ish d20 game' which doesn't motivate me at all by itself. Without some idea of a story, I don't even remotely care enough about a game to run it.
I suppose I have similar issues when it comes to the MUCK.
Wrrf. So back to work for a few days. It's almost a welcome return. Then a three day weekend! Somehow, I find I'm not exactly thrilled about that at the moment. Feh.
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