Roleplaying Thoughts

GMing is often a labor of love. It just happens to start out more love and become more labor as time goes on. And often, a laboring GM reaches a point at which the weight creation and arbitration outweighs the reward. Sometimes, it may even be taken to an extreme.

Maybe I hit that point of burnout one too many times. Mostly, I blame a lack of inspiration and creativity on my part. Seriously, ideas once flowed like water when now it more often feels like I'm trying to wring the same out of a stone. Ultimately, though, I simply don't feel like running a game unless I've got some idea of it that appeals to me. I've been over that before. I don't require strict adherence to an envisioned plotline, but I require something to work with beyond "Let's play X!"

It's much the same when the subject is being a player. If the character is interesting to me, I'm so much more into the game than if I've crammed together a collection of stats, or if someone "handed" me a character and said "here, do this for the scene."

I recognize all this. And I perceive it in other gamers more often than not. This awareness, however, only seems to muddy the issue and make it even harder for me to enjoy roleplaying. If I press someone else to run a game, I feel bad for burdening them. If I force myself to do something without that initial spark, I know that I'm not as invested as I could (or, in my mind, should) be.