Ker-blargle!
I feel a little like venting unto the ether...
I'm tired.
And it's not just a "the days are getting shorter and you never sleep enough" tired. No, I feel sapped of drive and creativity. Truthfully, I think that's standard "tired" for me. It's a weariness that runs deeper than just a desire for sleep, or even the desire to let go the worries and stresses of the day. It's hard to look forward to MUCKing (or much of anything else) when I know I just don't have much to put into it, especially when what you get out of it is based on that.
Yesterday was one of the sorts of work days I really don't like so much (though not the worst). I started off the morning with one thing to deal with almost immediately. Someone had hit a malware site. It usually takes an hour or more of cleaning and scanning before I'm willing to sign off on a computer and turn it back over - sometimes longer depending on how deep the crap gets its hooks in. Then something else came up. Then something else. I think I spent most of the morning bouncing around the office with anywhere between two and four things I was working on right then. The afternoon, by contrast, was peaceful. But by then I was always stressed and unable to appreciate it. It's especially bad when days like this fall on a Monday, as it leaves me exhausted and feeling behind for the rest of the week, even if things go smoothly after.
Today was not as bad, but still busy. I actually worked on one thing through most of the day with some side-tracking - an IIS/ASP setup that wasn't working. I'm faaar from an expert in that area. I'd like to say I learned some things, but that might be overstating it. But still, the day wasn't as bad because I wasn't in crisis mode. This needs to get done soon, but it's not really preventing work from going on right now. And we seem to be on track to a fix, though we're not quite there yet. So I feel like I've been at least a little productive, which is something.
I'm jealous and spiteful.
I wouldn't call it all-consuming, but oh those feelings are there. I sort of resented when a few of our regular raiders left our WoW guild for another. Rationally, I don't hold it against them. They wanted a larger guild and the benefits thereof, and it makes sense for them to go for that.
But emotion's different, and hard to avoid. I do feel a little stung that they left, because it puts our guild in a worse position overall. Part of me really hoped they would suffer for it in some way. One bailed shortly before our Lich King kill after having made a big deal about how he wanted the Kingslayer title before Cataclysm. So that spiteful little voice of mine hoped he wouldn't get it.
This week, they made a push for it. I heard about their tumble with the Lich King a couple nights ago and it sounded like their group was learning a whole lot faster than ours did. And then last night, they succeeded. So that leaves me somewhat jealous that they seemed to have a much easier time of it.
Of course, it's really hard to compare "evenly." Their crew had access to slightly higher-level gear (from 25-man runs). Patch 4.0.1 radically changed so much that even classes are difficult to compare to their former selves. They had more people who had done it (with us). They had more people to draw on. But why did it seem to be so much easier for them than us?
And while I had thought about the differences of 25-man and 10-man encounters, it appears they did it on 10. Which... somehow serves to upset me more in some way. That guild is larger and usually runs 25-mans. So they have a benefit of gear. But it means 10 of them made a push to get their titles without other people in their guild that are normally involved. I can't help but wonder how that guild's regular raiders that were left out of that run feel about it.
Really, though, none of that should matter. It's a trivial thing in the grand scheme. The situations aren't really comparable, and there's no reason I should be upset or jealous over what goes on with another guild. ... But emotion is hard to shake.
I'm not sure about this "business continuity" thing.
Things are evolving at work. There's a push to get new computers for the newsroom as the existing ones (even after receiving RAM and video card upgrades) are felt to not be able to handle the remote software as well as desired. And one of the board members (who may be too involved for my tastes) pushed for laptops. Slightly more expensive, but he seems to want to insure work can continue if something happens and people can't get in to work at the building.
He has a background working at USA Today apparently, and points to a lot of things they did. Nevermind that they're a huge, national paper and we're regional at best. I think this is a bit of overkill. Though it does work well with the new news-side system, as it's remotely-hosted already.
But...
All our circulation, accounting, and advertising software is not so readily transferred out of the building. For ad building, there's a crap-ton of art on network drives. None of the other software is designed to be used remotely. So if we're really promoting business continuity, that is a lot of other work that needs to be done. And this while there's reluctance to spend money? It seems silly to me. I think the last time we missed a paper, it was probably a press issue anyway, not a software/design one.
And the meeting only very briefly touched on policy. He's suggesting employees take their assigned laptops home with them every night in case they can't make it in for whatever reason. And, of course, you want to limit what people do with them to some extent. But if you say "you can't use this for anything other than work," you've just saddled employees with several pounds of stuff to lug around, and they're going to resent it. So how do you allow them just enough use that it feels like a "perk" without making the laptops (and network) vulnerable to all sorts of crap? I don't know. Considering how we get a few malware infections a month on the desktops, I foresee it only getting worse.
Amidst all this, the newsroom is getting their spiffy new laptops ordered probably within a week. The production department is getting pushed back perhaps "six months." I wince at that because I feel the need for upgrades is actually greater in the production department. News runs a remote connection with a remote machine running InDesign and some management software. Production locally runs InDesign, Photoshop, QuarkXpress, Acrobat, and e-mail - usually all at once at any given time. The stresses on the computers are slightly different, but I definitely think production ones are hit harder. And considering several already have trouble running CS4 software and there's a need to be transitioning past to CS5... ugh. But I don't make the decisions. The board member has closer ties to the newsroom and the production manager is fairly meek in comparison, so guess who gets prioritized?
I'm watching things shift around at work.
Our web department/subsidiary is officially being dismantled, too. It sprung out of a couple people keeping the paper's web site up, but grew into a web site/e-mail hosting/design company. I guess that's not being profitable enough because it's coming apart. I understand we're not dropping current customers, but not accepting new ones. One person is moving back to the sales department of the paper, another is going to work with another subsidiary group, and another is being shuffled into our IT department - so there will be three of us going forward.
In a way, I'm glad for the additional access to him. He's got way more expertise in online areas than I do. Personality-wise, though, I'm a little uneasy. He's not a bad guy at all, but boy can he go on about pretty much anything. He's great with code, but doesn't quite seem to have a troubleshooter's mindset. Still, I worked with him a lot today and it was fine. I fear change, but I think this one will be okay.
For all this, I hope the company somehow saves enough that we can actually get raises this next year. I know the economy sucks right now, but this pay freeze is geting old.
I'm tired.
And it's not just a "the days are getting shorter and you never sleep enough" tired. No, I feel sapped of drive and creativity. Truthfully, I think that's standard "tired" for me. It's a weariness that runs deeper than just a desire for sleep, or even the desire to let go the worries and stresses of the day. It's hard to look forward to MUCKing (or much of anything else) when I know I just don't have much to put into it, especially when what you get out of it is based on that.
Yesterday was one of the sorts of work days I really don't like so much (though not the worst). I started off the morning with one thing to deal with almost immediately. Someone had hit a malware site. It usually takes an hour or more of cleaning and scanning before I'm willing to sign off on a computer and turn it back over - sometimes longer depending on how deep the crap gets its hooks in. Then something else came up. Then something else. I think I spent most of the morning bouncing around the office with anywhere between two and four things I was working on right then. The afternoon, by contrast, was peaceful. But by then I was always stressed and unable to appreciate it. It's especially bad when days like this fall on a Monday, as it leaves me exhausted and feeling behind for the rest of the week, even if things go smoothly after.
Today was not as bad, but still busy. I actually worked on one thing through most of the day with some side-tracking - an IIS/ASP setup that wasn't working. I'm faaar from an expert in that area. I'd like to say I learned some things, but that might be overstating it. But still, the day wasn't as bad because I wasn't in crisis mode. This needs to get done soon, but it's not really preventing work from going on right now. And we seem to be on track to a fix, though we're not quite there yet. So I feel like I've been at least a little productive, which is something.
I'm jealous and spiteful.
I wouldn't call it all-consuming, but oh those feelings are there. I sort of resented when a few of our regular raiders left our WoW guild for another. Rationally, I don't hold it against them. They wanted a larger guild and the benefits thereof, and it makes sense for them to go for that.
But emotion's different, and hard to avoid. I do feel a little stung that they left, because it puts our guild in a worse position overall. Part of me really hoped they would suffer for it in some way. One bailed shortly before our Lich King kill after having made a big deal about how he wanted the Kingslayer title before Cataclysm. So that spiteful little voice of mine hoped he wouldn't get it.
This week, they made a push for it. I heard about their tumble with the Lich King a couple nights ago and it sounded like their group was learning a whole lot faster than ours did. And then last night, they succeeded. So that leaves me somewhat jealous that they seemed to have a much easier time of it.
Of course, it's really hard to compare "evenly." Their crew had access to slightly higher-level gear (from 25-man runs). Patch 4.0.1 radically changed so much that even classes are difficult to compare to their former selves. They had more people who had done it (with us). They had more people to draw on. But why did it seem to be so much easier for them than us?
And while I had thought about the differences of 25-man and 10-man encounters, it appears they did it on 10. Which... somehow serves to upset me more in some way. That guild is larger and usually runs 25-mans. So they have a benefit of gear. But it means 10 of them made a push to get their titles without other people in their guild that are normally involved. I can't help but wonder how that guild's regular raiders that were left out of that run feel about it.
Really, though, none of that should matter. It's a trivial thing in the grand scheme. The situations aren't really comparable, and there's no reason I should be upset or jealous over what goes on with another guild. ... But emotion is hard to shake.
I'm not sure about this "business continuity" thing.
Things are evolving at work. There's a push to get new computers for the newsroom as the existing ones (even after receiving RAM and video card upgrades) are felt to not be able to handle the remote software as well as desired. And one of the board members (who may be too involved for my tastes) pushed for laptops. Slightly more expensive, but he seems to want to insure work can continue if something happens and people can't get in to work at the building.
He has a background working at USA Today apparently, and points to a lot of things they did. Nevermind that they're a huge, national paper and we're regional at best. I think this is a bit of overkill. Though it does work well with the new news-side system, as it's remotely-hosted already.
But...
All our circulation, accounting, and advertising software is not so readily transferred out of the building. For ad building, there's a crap-ton of art on network drives. None of the other software is designed to be used remotely. So if we're really promoting business continuity, that is a lot of other work that needs to be done. And this while there's reluctance to spend money? It seems silly to me. I think the last time we missed a paper, it was probably a press issue anyway, not a software/design one.
And the meeting only very briefly touched on policy. He's suggesting employees take their assigned laptops home with them every night in case they can't make it in for whatever reason. And, of course, you want to limit what people do with them to some extent. But if you say "you can't use this for anything other than work," you've just saddled employees with several pounds of stuff to lug around, and they're going to resent it. So how do you allow them just enough use that it feels like a "perk" without making the laptops (and network) vulnerable to all sorts of crap? I don't know. Considering how we get a few malware infections a month on the desktops, I foresee it only getting worse.
Amidst all this, the newsroom is getting their spiffy new laptops ordered probably within a week. The production department is getting pushed back perhaps "six months." I wince at that because I feel the need for upgrades is actually greater in the production department. News runs a remote connection with a remote machine running InDesign and some management software. Production locally runs InDesign, Photoshop, QuarkXpress, Acrobat, and e-mail - usually all at once at any given time. The stresses on the computers are slightly different, but I definitely think production ones are hit harder. And considering several already have trouble running CS4 software and there's a need to be transitioning past to CS5... ugh. But I don't make the decisions. The board member has closer ties to the newsroom and the production manager is fairly meek in comparison, so guess who gets prioritized?
I'm watching things shift around at work.
Our web department/subsidiary is officially being dismantled, too. It sprung out of a couple people keeping the paper's web site up, but grew into a web site/e-mail hosting/design company. I guess that's not being profitable enough because it's coming apart. I understand we're not dropping current customers, but not accepting new ones. One person is moving back to the sales department of the paper, another is going to work with another subsidiary group, and another is being shuffled into our IT department - so there will be three of us going forward.
In a way, I'm glad for the additional access to him. He's got way more expertise in online areas than I do. Personality-wise, though, I'm a little uneasy. He's not a bad guy at all, but boy can he go on about pretty much anything. He's great with code, but doesn't quite seem to have a troubleshooter's mindset. Still, I worked with him a lot today and it was fine. I fear change, but I think this one will be okay.
For all this, I hope the company somehow saves enough that we can actually get raises this next year. I know the economy sucks right now, but this pay freeze is geting old.
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