"Halcyon"
I've always liked that word. It has a neat look and sound. And to mean "peaceful" ... It has a certain beauty to it.
For myself, being at peace seems a rare occurance - probably more often than I realize, but still not so often as I like. It happens when I am in the moment. Whether that means I'm pausing and looking out on the scenery here that is truly lovely, clicking through a rotation of buttons against digital foes, letting myself be drawn in to a tale via text or visuals, digging through files to find the source of a problem, or following a line of conversation or thinking... All of these things focus me on the present in some way.
When my attention isn't held, however, my thoughts are more scattered and I tend to be anything but serene of mind. There are always traces of worry over finances, or work, or HOA responsibilities. I start noticing little details of how inconsiderate people are en masse. I berate myself for failure to stick to one productive thought or for lacking inspiration to do something I enjoy. I even ponder the relatively pointlessness of my existence. Aimlessness often becomes negativity and it all takes a toll.
That dark maelstrom is where my mind ends up when I do naught but idle on a MUCK or I'm faced with truly nothing to do at work. In truth, living alone probably doesn't help this, as there are no others to engage in conversation or anything - though my schedule has seen to it there were weeks of that even before I actually lacked a roommate.
Perhaps I need a new hobby of some sort that'll last me a few months until Cataclysm comes out. >.>
For myself, being at peace seems a rare occurance - probably more often than I realize, but still not so often as I like. It happens when I am in the moment. Whether that means I'm pausing and looking out on the scenery here that is truly lovely, clicking through a rotation of buttons against digital foes, letting myself be drawn in to a tale via text or visuals, digging through files to find the source of a problem, or following a line of conversation or thinking... All of these things focus me on the present in some way.
When my attention isn't held, however, my thoughts are more scattered and I tend to be anything but serene of mind. There are always traces of worry over finances, or work, or HOA responsibilities. I start noticing little details of how inconsiderate people are en masse. I berate myself for failure to stick to one productive thought or for lacking inspiration to do something I enjoy. I even ponder the relatively pointlessness of my existence. Aimlessness often becomes negativity and it all takes a toll.
That dark maelstrom is where my mind ends up when I do naught but idle on a MUCK or I'm faced with truly nothing to do at work. In truth, living alone probably doesn't help this, as there are no others to engage in conversation or anything - though my schedule has seen to it there were weeks of that even before I actually lacked a roommate.
Perhaps I need a new hobby of some sort that'll last me a few months until Cataclysm comes out. >.>
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