Scattered Thoughts

There are times I think Atlantis is less a legend and more a warning, and that we are living in it now - that our civilization is ascendant, but nearing its peak and point of collapse.
The current recession/depression brings this to mind. Being mired in foreign conflicts, fuel costs (and everything that's related)... all those big issues add up. But so do the little ones. Things like inconsiderate cell phone users, or gas stations that only require pre-payment or credit cards. It feels as though there is some society-wide moral slippage. Even the great Internet, where nearly anything can be found in less than a minute, contributes.
Maybe - hopefully - it is undue worry, and the worst of what's going on will pass as the pendulum swings. But a part of me fears a larger-scale cycle, in which our civilization will fall before the next.
My parents may be purchasing a shotgun or similar, at the urging of a neighbor in law enforcement (who also encourages stockpiling months of supplies). My father has always been anti-gun for as long as I can remember, in spite of (or because of) being in the Air Force. To this news and some of the limited discussion about it, I commented, "I'm not sure I could shoot someone if it really came down to it." He agreed with my sentiment, though my step-mom is more practical.
It's depressing to think about sometimes, but the thoughts are there.


I'm not really sure what to say about the game thusfar in general. Combat still takes a long time (maybe less than Exalted, it's hard to say with our first bunch of rolls last night). There is the benefit of the system being moderately familiar to at least one player who never gained a comfort level with Exalted. On the other hand, we have one or two players who probably will never be "fluent" with either system.
My problem with the game isn't with the game. It's with me. I have yet to find a real voice for my character, leading to someone who is largely just there and a mouthpiece to my attempts to plan. That's not very rewarding to me and offers no real contribution to the game itself.
It doesn't help that I went into chargen devoid of any real ideas and came out with a social adept with some physical abilities only to then find out someone who was going to play a shaman made a social adept instead. So as far as abilities, I'm looking at a character who doesn't really have a niche. Somehow two or three gun bunnies seem okay - they can work together tactically to overcome physical opponents. Two or three spellcasters can probably work as long as they have different spell sets. Yet, to me, it feels like when you get multiple hackers, riggers, or social-types, they tend to be redundant in most circumstances. So when another character is designed to throw more dice at the same problems with the same methods at targets that usually don't require ganging-up upon, that's a bit disheartening.
But as much as the mechanics side of the aspect takes up a lot of words, I still feel the biggest problem is me not managing to mold my character into anything special. I've pondered this to some extent, but I have no solution yet. I'm even considering bowing out of the game altogether, but that seems a shame.
I don't know yet...


And a touch of the real and present. I'm looking into refinancing my mortgage. The one positive thing I can see in all the economic mess is that interest rates are particularly low. With the possibility of shaving somewhere around a full percent of interest off, it looks to be worthwhile, as I haven't any plans to move in the next couple years.