...

Typical. I give voice to my feelings and end up hurting someone, thereby feeling bad in turn. Maybe "honesty is the best policy," but it sure can be a painful path to take. And now I get to walk on eggshells around work to boot.

So, a little request. The next time you feel the urge to say "go for it!" to me as far as a relationship goes, give some serious, serious thought to refraining from that impulse.

Comments

  1. tashiroNovember 7, 2007 at 8:37 AM

    I'm sorry that it didn't work out. :( But I still think that it was something that should have been explored. You should probably still talk to her at some point though -- she may think you were trying to break up with her by e-mail (which I don't think was what you were doing). Maybe during a break or something.

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  2. marinredwolfNovember 7, 2007 at 8:48 AM

    It wasn't my intent, but when you boil things down I feel that she wants something different from a relationship than I do. Unless I'm just mistaken on that and reading things wrong - which I think she could say readily enough - is that not reason to part?

    ReplyDelete
  3. slydyrNovember 8, 2007 at 8:52 AM

    If the other person initiates it, and can't handle the result; then it is on them, not you. I still feel it is better to have tried, regardless of the outcome (I mean, it's not like you are stuck paying alimony, or getting a divorce, etc). I intentionally held off on saying anything with your previous post (ecstatic though I was that you and she snuggled some), because our approach to such things is radically different, and though I wasn't going to say "go for it" exactly, it probably would have sounded a lot like it. Suffice to say though that if you were honest with her, and she has a problem with that, it is her problem. Unless you omitted some serious details, it's not like she can get you fired for some mutual kissing. You have no reason to walk on eggshells, and nothing to apologize for. just my two cents, man.

    ReplyDelete
  4. marinredwolfNovember 8, 2007 at 10:48 AM

    Thanks. From my perspective, it probably was a good experience overall. It just reaffirms that I don't want to make the changes to my life that a "serious relationship" is likely to entail. It's good to know that rather than just think it. I won't say it'll never work out for me, but this opportunity won't. I don't feel bad for being honest about that. I do feel sympathetically bad because it seemed to come as such a blow to her. I don't like to hurt people, even involuntarily or in the act of defending myself on some level. There should be any real problems form it in the workplace, but if I'm on shift and she's having computer troubles, there might be some tension in the air as I try to troubleshoot - that sort of thing.

    ReplyDelete
  5. alynnwellsNovember 13, 2007 at 9:57 PM

    It always hurts, chico. If I told you otherwise, I'd be lying. That doesn't mean it doesn't have to happen. Better to do it as soon as one of you is clear that this isn't what you want than to wait until you're both more invested in it. That doesn't mean it won't hurt. Both of you. For what it's worth, I think it means you respect her as a person that you were honest with her. Even though she doesn't appreciate it, or at least not right now.

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