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Too much work and too much reflection... or something.

Work summed up: Upgrade issues have settled, though we're still going back and forth on some points, trying to get everything working as it should. David's on vacation this week, leaving me at the sole IT person here. Last night was the first time since Thursday that I haven't been called to help with something. I've been charged with devising and presenting a plan to back up our network data. Honestly, I'm less than thrilled about that responsibility. I really don't feel I get paid enough to handle daily tasks, much less tackle something like that. Still, I'll do it.

Everything else can be described as "okay," I suppose. There's really nothing at home that I can complain about.

Having a couple weekends in a row by myself, though, left me more introspective than usual. I can't say I realized anything new, but I consolidated several things I knew and admitted the whole mess of it to myself at once. Ugh. I wish I could say I felt better for it, but I don't. I don't feel I understand myself as much as I did before, and it's all personal at a level that I can't comfortably put forth, even to friends. I'd been hoping that wouldn't be the case, but it still is. For as much as I can ramble on about my days here, there are still things that I just can't bring myself to say to anyone in this forum, or any other. That's... disappointing.

I feel way too old for my own good.

Comments

  1. northawkeJune 16, 2004 at 4:41 AM

    *pounce* *grin* *hug* Ok, I know that's not the appropriate response to such a serious email... but I haven't heard from you in a while, and it's good to see that you're alive! My only reason for not pestering you earlier is confirmation from your roomie that you're alive and kicking... ;-) Anyhow, I wish I could help, but suspect I can't... I have a favor to ask, too - wanna hang out when I 'm in town in a couple months? =) *hugs* I hope things get better. If you ever think chatting at me would help, I'm here for you. =)

    ReplyDelete
  2. alynnwellsJune 16, 2004 at 7:37 AM

    There are ears to listen, when you're ready to be heard. In the meantime, all I can offer are hugs, real and virtual. *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  3. marinredwolfJune 18, 2004 at 10:53 AM

    One or more friends-only posts coming up, it looks like...

    ReplyDelete

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