Waiting for fullness

I grok. Well, I'm closer to grokking anyway.

My self-given vacation 'homework' was to read "Stranger in a Strange Land." I had somehow managed to get through this much of my life without doing so. I read "Starship Troopers" when the movie came out and was duly impressed, but now I think I have to put Heinlein on my mental list of favorite authors. Now I just need to get a few other people to read it.

It left me, however, with two questions I would ask of my friends... not for the 'right' answer or something from any book, but because I wonder how they (you) view such things:

What is love?
and
Why is jealousy?

Comments

  1. tashiroJanuary 27, 2004 at 5:40 AM

    Hmm. Two good questions. Love, to me, is a strong emotional connection to someone. Positive emotions, the feeling of wishing to have someone be a part of your life, to be close to them, and to feel that connection returned. Love means wishing to share yourself with someone, and wanting them to share themselves with you in return - sharing experiences, sharing life, sharing throughts and dreams, and in some cases, sharing pleasure. Jealousy is harder to define, but since you asked, I'll give what I can. There are, I think, two kinds of jealousy. There is 'coveting', where you want what someone else has, and then there's jealousy itself. I'll deal with the latter... To me, jealousy manifests because you feel threatened... it is the feeling that your emotional bond with someone may not be as strong as you wish, and you see that bond perhaps somewhere else. As such, you feel your bond with someone, your love of them, might be less than you imagined. This makes the person your 'other' is dealing with appear to be a rival, and generates negative feelings. It is, by nature, not logical, but it happens never the less. Just my two cents.

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  2. marinredwolfJanuary 28, 2004 at 1:05 AM

    Hmmm. Food for thought. I believe I read in a livejournal post of someone's a few weeks back how a major problem in relationships was differing opinions of what "love" is between the parties involved. From what I've observed, that's just the tip of the ice berg - probably a majority of issues that arise between people (relationship or no) are founded in a misunderstanding/miscommunication due to differing viewpoints. Different views of love just make for perhaps the most intimately painful of these misunderstandings. I've seen it happen countless times between characters: "I love you" spoken as "I enjoy your company and feel affection toward you," but interpretted as "I want to get married and spend my life with you." I've seen characters say the words without every having thought about what they meant, and I've seen those words avoided for fear of them being taken in ways they weren't meant. I'm tempted to say "I've seen it all," but that would be foolish as I know it's not true. Hrm... I seem to be rambling, but I guess I'm allowed since it's still in my journal. I just can't help but wonder how many married (legally or practically) people have truly taken the time to understand what his/her partner means, wants, and expects. Maybe doing so makes the difference between success and failure. Too often marriage lead to a period of trying to change one's partner (be it small habits or large), but isn't that missing the point? Isn't a person supposed to wed someone they want to be with 'as they are' rather than 'as they may become?' But then, I'm not married and I can't really see myself ever being such. And jealousy... well, I'm not going there just yet. ;)

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  3. shiftercatJanuary 28, 2004 at 12:55 PM

    I did read Stranger in a Strange Land, but it was years ago. I do highly recommend The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, though. As for the two questions: Love is a deep spiritual connection to someone or something. Let's keep in mind that there are more kinds of love than just the romantic or even the interpersonal. Love for an art, a place, or an ideal is just as valid. To keep sane, you have to find a balance between all your various loves. Jealousy is rooted in selfishness and insecurity. You want to have something all to yourself, and worry that your own abilities aren't enough to obtain or retain it.

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  4. marinredwolfJanuary 29, 2004 at 2:17 AM

    Hmm... Granted. Generally when I hear of "love" for something like a place or a piece of artwork, it simply means a "strong like" rather than any true emotional bond. As such, I tend to overlook such things, but it is indeed quite possible to feel so strongly bound to things other than people. Something to remember... And I guess I'll have to put "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress" on my list of things to read. I just don't have very much time in my average day to divert to any book, and I haven't missed it quite enough to change that.

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  5. kyn_elwynnFebruary 4, 2004 at 1:46 PM

    Love is: The warmth in your heart at seeing an old friend. The comfort and satisfaction of spending time with someone. It is the hot embrace during a night of passion. A rose. It is and can be what you desire it to be. Jealousy: A negative sensation created when one sees something they care for and possible even desire taken by another. A form of 'want' exercized towards either the already unattainable, or towards one's 'property' when it's desired by others.

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  6. anonymousAugust 11, 2004 at 1:37 AM

    I am surprised you got through 1995 to 1997 without reading "Stranger". I would have though that as much as we all talked about it, said "Grok...", and shared water, that you had at least looked through it. But irregardless, my two cents: The hard one: Jealousy... my experience with this ugliness is that it is the fear of, or the realization that you are losing something so essential, so necessary to my happiness, my continued existence, my ideal of what my life should be like. I find the acute cases coincide with sharp pains in my stomach, a slight disorientation, and women. I once had the misfortune of witnessing a friend's first experience with this feeling... he told me that "he had never felt the need for something that another man had." I suppose that could sum it up as well. The easy one: Love. Love is. Any need to add more adjectives to it is Hollywood.

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